Friday, July 1, 2011

Mom

My Mom passed away earlier this week. This is something I wrote during the 27 hours it took me to rush home to her funeral. Rest in peace Mom.

When I was a little girl, my Mom had a brain surgery to fix a neuralgia. This was the beginning of a decline that she would never escape. I have a few memories of Mom really being Mom, being a person not ruled by mental and physical illness. These memories are very special to me and I cling to those with my heart and soul!!! I think the biggest reason Jewish holidays are so important to me is the memory of being with her as Mom and daughter preparing the meals together, especially matzoh balls. And, probably why the piano has such meaning to me is because of the memories I have of her playing. She wasn't some grand pianist, but when she played I saw a woman, my Mom, without the sickness; if even for only brief moments. As the years passed and she deteriorated more and more, I lost hope of ever even getting to see those brief glimpses of her as Mom. That is until she became Grandma. When she saw her grandsons, a glimmer of the woman, of the Mom, I so very much longed for was there. She loved her grandsons and they adored her! Now that she has died, I imagine all the sickness, all the ailments of the Body and mind have finally left her to be buried Forever. And those glimmers of life and love are the whole of her now as she joins my Dad up in heaven. And so I pray to G-d, that finally in heaven she is able to gaze down upon us all with a full heart and a joyous soul and perhaps finally a relief from all that tore her away from us on this earth for so many years.

5 comments:

The Story Tales said...

Thinking of you all during this really difficult season of loss. Love and hugs to you from us.

Diane Tromans-Berg said...

Our thoughts are with you. I am so saddened to hear about your loss.

Gary and Gail said...

We are very sorry for the loss of your mother. As difficult as it is to say goodbye, there is a time when it is what is best. We are thinking of you. Love, Gary and Gail

Karen M-C said...

Alisa, I am so sorry to learn of your loss..... losing a parent is one of the most difficult things we endure, i think. I am certain that your mom is looking down and is so very proud of her daughter, as a mom, wife and woman. May she rest in peace and may you have too find peace. With Love, Karen

The Stone Rabbit said...

Thanks so much everyone. I only wish she could've seen her grand babies one more time. We were only a week away from our visit and she was SO EXCITED to see them and they her.