Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Letting go

I have so much homework that I should be doing, but these thoughts are just overtaking my mind and I, at least, want to get them down before they disappear into the twilight zone. I've  been really emotionally and physically spent this last while, some due to the UAT, some due to new things, most due to old things. And, it is just dawning on me tonight, finally maybe getting through this thick skull of mine, that it's time to let go. I cannot carry these burdens on my shoulders anymore because they are eating me up inside. Not every battle has to be fought. As much as I hate to admit this, not every event has a logical explanation. Not every injustice can be understood.

Awhile ago, I railed against the concept of "let go and let G-d," thinking that too many people use that as a way to avoid responsibility for their own lives and choices. And, yes, there are some who do that. But, maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to understand that in a different way. Maybe "let go and let G-d" means for me to say, "G-d, I cannot carry these burdens on my shoulders any more, I am taking them off and placing them at your feet, giving them over to you, please take them so I can learn to live again." Maybe, just maybe. . .